Hole in Our Hearts
by Mrs. Bonner
Summary: When the Cup of Life was emptied, Morgana was defeated. Now she is gone, but not forgotten. This 100-word "drabble" series is set in the period post-S3 and pre-S4.  No slash.
1. Daughter Lost, Daughter Gained

_**Author's Note: OK, my turn! Everybody's drabbles (100-word-vignettes) are so fun to read. Here's one from me. Maybe I'll write a few. We have a whole year of time post-series-3 to fill up before S4 supposedly picks up. So that will be the subject of this work in progress.**_

"Guinevere,"

"I am here, my lord."

"Why hasn't Morgana come to see me?"

Gwen set down her sewing and knelt beside the fevered king's bed. "She's away, my lord. Do you not remember?"

"Oh, that's right. She's away. I miss her. When will she be returning – will it be soon?"

"I do not know, my lord."

"Tell her that I want to see her as soon as she arrives."

Gwen straightened his blankets and offered him a drink of water.

"Morgana was always very fond of you."

Gwen blinked back tears but smiled sweetly. "And I of her, my lord."


	2. No Remedy

Physicians have no remedy for regret.

There is no tincture for lost daughters, lost sisters, lost friends.

Medicine cannot resurrect the dead.

It cannot restore lost innocence.

Herbs bring no solace when defiance or complacency have been answered with slaughter.

Perhaps if someone had known – or cared – or dared…

That is the ailment that cannot be healed by man.

The implacable past is etched in stone.

The future must be written in hope: a tender growing thing, at times in short supply.

Sometimes one cultivates hope, then waits out a long winter of sorrow.

Physicians have no remedy for regret.


	3. Summer Storm

**Author's Note: This one is for Ultra-Geek. Because of the approach of the 100th drabble in the story "One Hundred". Thanks for all of those delicious Merlin vignettes.**

* * *

><p>It was night and Morgana stood outside in the wind.<p>

Rainless, the sky blazed with lightning. "As if the gods," she thought, "are at war in the sky."

She had witnessed such summer storms almost every year of her life.

"So purely magical -Uther will have it outlawed."

She began to chuckle, but it caught in her throat.

* * *

><p>Far away, a weary servant rested outside a castle keep.<p>

He watched the awesome sky, not imagining battling gods .

He remembered Morgana.

When last he saw her, he had seen fire exactly like this in her eyes.


	4. Amour Courtois

Courtly love.

It was newly in fashion.

To the innocent it sounded incredibly romantic,

Especially with all of those handsome new knights charging about.

To the less innocent it sounded incredibly convenient:

An opportunity to breach propriety and take liberties –

Escaping the emotional confines of sworn fidelity.

And perhaps the physical ones as well.

It left a trail of broken hearts in it's wake.

Why labor to love your tired spouse?

All of the rapture and fantasy of new love awaits in _amour courtois._

It was a game for fools.

And in Camelot, fools were not in short supply.


	5. Blessed Union

Arthur found it difficult to part with Guinevere, painful to let her go.

He knew where this would lead. He was, after all, a man.

He was determined to be an honorable one.

He knew few married men, and none of them well.

His father's advice was dubious - he'd fathered Morgana.

(Such thoughts simply hurt.)

Gaius was a bachelor; Geoffrey: celibate.

Merlin, like himself, was without reference.

Arthur had seen the anguish of widows but not the glory of brides.

(Except the troll.)

His heart, nevertheless, guided him. It led with surprising strength.

He would marry Guinevere.

And soon.


	6. Her Preference

What do you want?

She had never once been asked that question.

She'd learned to eat what was served, buy what was available.

At work she presented choices for others, never made them for herself.

She answered to what she was called – none had ever asked her preference.

She might not have had an opinion anyway.

(She liked how one said "Gwen", another "Guinevere".)

In the woods they'd determined her fate, no questions asked.

She'd wept.

Now it seemed few choices remained.

Arthur was planning to marry her.

She certainly loved him,

And did not understand why she feared.


	7. Purposeful Insolence

Gwaine searched for water while Elyan stood watch outside.

Arthur knelt beside his injured servant, tucking the blanket more closely round his neck.

"Listen, lazybones," said Arthur, "I am ordering you to get well."

No response.

"The trouble with you is your defiance. You've been defying me since the day we met."

Merlin remained unconscious.

"I get it now, you know. You've always stood up to me. Of all the things you've ever done for me, maybe that's been the most important."

The firelight flickered.

The worried prince, already on his knees, decided to try praying.


	8. Night of Enchanted Dreams  Part 1

**Author's Note: This drabble is for _Elin Marc_, who requested a little Mergana. And I have to thank her because she sparked a sort of neat idea.**

* * *

><p><span>Night of Enchanted Dreams – Part 1<span>

Merlin woke confused.

He'd been dancing with Morgana.

Impossible on so many levels.

She'd been laughing at something he said –

Merry laughter, lacking even the smallest shade of irony or disdain.

Her green eyes were trusting, innocent.

He was overwhelmed with memories, and his painstakingly hardened heart melted.

If it was only a dream, why could he remember the curve of her waist and the texture of her dress?

And there was something more:

He sensed strong magic.

It was morning – time to get Arthur's breakfast.

He groaned.

Magic or not, he wished to return to that dream.


	9. Night of Enchanted Dreams Part 2

**Author's Note: Geoffrey of Monmouth, the librarian character who performs marriages and coronations on BBC's _Merlin,_ was a real person. He was a Welsh cleric who lived about 1100 - 1155 AD. We owe much of the survival of the Arthurian legends to him. (I want to kiss the writers for making Geoffrey a character on the show.)**

* * *

><p><span>Night of Enchanted Dreams – Part 2<span>

Geoffrey passed Merlin near Morgana's empty suite.

Something made him stop, speak.

"A prophet once helped a noble lad kill a giant and become king. Sadly, in time the king's honor dulled until he stole a lady and murdered her husband. Afterward, the fallen king blundered long in darkness. The prophet's sorrow was great. So much that _might have been_ was lost. But he understood the worth of a soul, even broken. There was a road back: difficult but not impossible. The blinded king knew nothing of it. Only love could guide. For the prophet, a new misson began."


	10. Locked In

"You idiot!" shouted Morgana, as the metal grate fell. "We're locked in!"

"We'll find a way out," Merlin said.

He didn't mention that he could lift the bars with his mind.

He wanted a chance to talk to her.

Morgana decided this was a perfect chance to slug him.

Merlin didn't _like_ fighting with a woman, but he'd done it before.

He found with satisfaction that he was the stronger,

Although restraining her did take effort.

"Let me go!" she spat.

"I don't think I will," said Merlin, quite calm. "We need to talk."


	11. Honesty

"Would you ever lie to me, Merlin?"

"No, never."

"You're lying right now, aren't you?"

"Arthur, I've lied _for_ you numerous times. I must assume you approve of the practice."

"How can I possibly trust you when you're admitting that you lie?"

"You're loyal to your father?"

"Completely."

"You've lied to him."

"Only when he's dead wrong."

"So you understand."

"What are you saying?"

"Nothing."

"I do see your point."

"Arthur?"

"Yes, Merlin?"

"I wish people never had to to lie."

"I know."


	12. From Afar

**_Author's note:_**

**_One more month and we'll be starting S4: HOORAY!_**

**_It's Lancelot's turn for a drabble. A review from Naisa made me think about this._**

* * *

><p>Lancelot threw himself into his work. He had much to prove. He buried the voice that whispered, "You should not be in Camelot."<p>

Seeing Gwen daily was ultimate bliss and ultimate agony. He did not understand addiction.

"I've been strong before," he told himself. "I'll be strong now."

There was too much to walk away from. Knighthood. Honor for his family. A chance to prove himself, to win the respect of someone like Arthur.

Lance avoided thinking. He avoided anything that would force him to be honest with himself. For it was not Arthur's respect he craved.

It was Gwen's.


	13. Intervention

Gwaine shoved the young ruffian against the wall, pinning him there.

"You've a problem, lad. That problem is me."

The teenager struggled defiantly.

"Let me introduce myself. My name is Sir Gwaine. Your mother sent me."

The youth actually had enough moxie to roll his eyes. Gwaine had to hide a grin. He decided to hold the lad slightly less gently.

"I understand that you don't like to listen to mum. Not surprising. We all get to do things we don't like. You're about to learn this."

The boy eyed his captor quizzically.

"You've just become my new squire."


	14. End of Endless Summer

Merlin looked over the darkening town. In six years he'd never tired of the view. It was quiet, though clouds were gathering.

Summer had been quiet. The risks had been few, perhaps because Arthur preferred spending days with Gwen over venturing into monster-infested woods. Merlin had scrubbed many floors. He'd patched many shirts. He felt... threadbare. He wondered if he would quietly slave for the rest of his life, then die full of buried secrets and false hopes.

An almost-cold wind began, stirring long-still branches and refreshing stuffy rooms. Suddenly, Merlin felt relief. Change was coming.

He would welcome it.


End file.
